20somethingness: Mama said...
Remember way back when our parents would give us mountains of sage advice, but because we were young and obviously knew everything, we ignored it (I could just be talking about myself)? There is something about your mid-to-late 20s that makes you reflect on what they told you with experienced eyes, and realize they actually knew what they were talking about.
My mother gave me three pieces of advice that I will remember for the rest of my days:
"Do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do. Do the work now so you can truly enjoy the play." My mom has been a hard worker her entire life, driven by the focus to do what needs to be done so she can enjoy herself later. I wish I had an Nth of her work ethic (between her and Beyonce, I am ashamed). Growing up I was incredibly lazy (still am..?). She would tell me to do what I need to do now (chores) so I can do what I want to do later (absolutely nothing, or browse AOL). Back then she was referring to unloading the dishwasher, but as I got older and experienced more autonomy with my time, I referred back to that guidance to help me prioritize needs and wants. These days I have to make choices between retail therapy or buying new tires, or going to happy hour versus writing a paper. Hard choices (because whiskey, duh) but I am thankful for the mental discipline she instilled in me. It helps me keep the bigger picture and the end game in mind. Will today's actions help me reach tomorrow's goals? Do the work, then enjoy the gains.
"You get to decide who sits in the front row of your life - choose wisely." This was one of her favorite sayings. I think this is because as a teen I had some questionable friendships, then as a young adult I had some questionable relationships -- all of which I always came crying to her about. At the time I would let it go in one ear and out the other. I figured it was just about organizing my "besties" better. It took some time (years?) to understand she didn't mean organizing friends like my Top 8, but about setting non-negotiable boundaries, not being afraid to revoke access from the undeserving, and being selective about who I allow into my sacred space. The people here should be those I can be my whole self with, those who pour into me, and those who inspire me to be my best self. Who is your tribe? Who sees you as you and not just as what you can do for them? Be selective, then be your brightest, boldest self.
"Will you remember this in a year? This, too, shall pass." Hopeless. Disappointment. Heartache. Betrayal. Anger. These are all things I have felt at one time or another. I don't remember exactly what the situation was at the time, but my mother asked if it was so devastating, will I feel the same way in a year? I replied of course not, and she said that if that's the case, I shouldn't give it so much power over today. It's okay to feel my feelings today, but don't let them keep me from moving forward into tomorrow. I've felt loss, rejection, and pain. I've been fired, dumped, did the dumping, lost friends, lost loved ones, and the list goes on. Through even the hardest moments I've held on to the inevitable day that I will no longer feel like this. "This, too, shall pass" has pulled me out of some of my darkest thoughts and energized me to pursue some of my highest achievements.
You could say that my mother is a futuristic thinker, and you would be right. She is one of the most forward-thinking people I know. Always looking ahead to see what can be done to enrich the future and set it up for success. I am so thankful for her mindset because it has instilled within me the significance of proper preparation and ambition. I understand the importance of perseverance, perspective and true support.
So maybe some of that sage advice did land like it was supposed to... - Lexx.
My mother gave me three pieces of advice that I will remember for the rest of my days:
"Do what you have to do so you can do what you want to do. Do the work now so you can truly enjoy the play." My mom has been a hard worker her entire life, driven by the focus to do what needs to be done so she can enjoy herself later. I wish I had an Nth of her work ethic (between her and Beyonce, I am ashamed). Growing up I was incredibly lazy (still am..?). She would tell me to do what I need to do now (chores) so I can do what I want to do later (absolutely nothing, or browse AOL). Back then she was referring to unloading the dishwasher, but as I got older and experienced more autonomy with my time, I referred back to that guidance to help me prioritize needs and wants. These days I have to make choices between retail therapy or buying new tires, or going to happy hour versus writing a paper. Hard choices (because whiskey, duh) but I am thankful for the mental discipline she instilled in me. It helps me keep the bigger picture and the end game in mind. Will today's actions help me reach tomorrow's goals? Do the work, then enjoy the gains.
"You get to decide who sits in the front row of your life - choose wisely." This was one of her favorite sayings. I think this is because as a teen I had some questionable friendships, then as a young adult I had some questionable relationships -- all of which I always came crying to her about. At the time I would let it go in one ear and out the other. I figured it was just about organizing my "besties" better. It took some time (years?) to understand she didn't mean organizing friends like my Top 8, but about setting non-negotiable boundaries, not being afraid to revoke access from the undeserving, and being selective about who I allow into my sacred space. The people here should be those I can be my whole self with, those who pour into me, and those who inspire me to be my best self. Who is your tribe? Who sees you as you and not just as what you can do for them? Be selective, then be your brightest, boldest self.
"Will you remember this in a year? This, too, shall pass." Hopeless. Disappointment. Heartache. Betrayal. Anger. These are all things I have felt at one time or another. I don't remember exactly what the situation was at the time, but my mother asked if it was so devastating, will I feel the same way in a year? I replied of course not, and she said that if that's the case, I shouldn't give it so much power over today. It's okay to feel my feelings today, but don't let them keep me from moving forward into tomorrow. I've felt loss, rejection, and pain. I've been fired, dumped, did the dumping, lost friends, lost loved ones, and the list goes on. Through even the hardest moments I've held on to the inevitable day that I will no longer feel like this. "This, too, shall pass" has pulled me out of some of my darkest thoughts and energized me to pursue some of my highest achievements.
You could say that my mother is a futuristic thinker, and you would be right. She is one of the most forward-thinking people I know. Always looking ahead to see what can be done to enrich the future and set it up for success. I am so thankful for her mindset because it has instilled within me the significance of proper preparation and ambition. I understand the importance of perseverance, perspective and true support.
So maybe some of that sage advice did land like it was supposed to... - Lexx.
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